Mentality Lost

It's the Final Countdown

2005-04-26T20:51:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh, the familiar sound of ticking. Tick tick tick.....of time passing away. I find that I often like to vegetate instead of filling my days of energy expending activities like I used to do. I used to do an hour and a half of Judo then 2 hours of capoeira. I wouldn't hit the sack until 2am and then still wake up the next day at 8 and go to class. Or when the schedule changed I'd do Judo MWFSun and Capoeira TTH. Add that onto PT MW mornings. I think all that stuff drained my energy and now I have none as a Senior. Or could it be that I'm engaged and don't go out much anymore. I still have friends that I go out with, but not often. Did I grow bored of crowded, ear deafening clubs? Do I no longer care to go to parties crammed in a two person apartment to watch drunk people do stupid stuff?

My slow days may be due to a lack of wild friends. They've either left or graduated. So here is a shout out to you guys that helped me get out and party like it was 1999. I certainly have several memories to fill my mind. Not to mention stories to tell my kids when they can handle sex, drugs, and alcohol. I used to play the field like a major leaguer. Now I'm happy with one. Yesterday I had my first wave of doubts. Thinking of the guys I would like to kiss........just once. Nothing more. Thinking of the awesome guys that I've had the pleasure of meeting over the years. However, just because I'm getting married doesn't mean I not going to sky dive, rock out at concerts, drink, smoke a cigar ;), skinny dip in the reflection pond because I suck at that one particular hole in Frisbee golf, or still meet interesting people.

Marriage doesn't hold a ball in chain for me in my future. The people who view it like that hang around the wrong people, and will probably marry into the situation b/c they don't know better is out there. I never settle. Heck that could probably be my motto. I should deal with terrorists. I feel marriage is the next step for me. It poses a new challenge that never stays the same. Dating is the same ole same ole. You meet different people, but the game never changes. Frankly, I grew bored of it. I became familiar with the process, perfected my skills, and won everytime. People also view marriage as a lack of options. In marriage you have tons of options. You just don't care for 95% of them and are happier without them. That is why it makes me mad when people use marriage as a tool or publicity stunt. For many it holds no staying value and depreciates with age. That is just sad. Yeah, the idea of finalizing a chapter in my life is scary, but I'm not going to let a little fear hold me back. There is more for me to gain by moving on then staying back. It amazes me how many people I know are getting married. Many the same age as I am. Most seem to be in ROTC. I wonder why that is? Are we ahead of the game? More mature or do we need security in our life since the military can be unpredictable? I don't know, but June 4th will be a day that holds a lot of significance.

Eyes Wide Shut

2005-03-16T13:53:00.000-08:00

These past few days are doing a number on my sleeping habits. I neeeeeeeeeeeeed sleeeeeeeeeep. Since this week is right before my spring break, it is THE longest week I've had to endure all semester. Going down to Florida last weekend did not help matters. So beautiful down there. When is Clemson going to wake up and realize that it should be warmer not colder!

My spring break doesn't seem to be so jolly. It's going to be all work and no play since Lee Lee has a wedding day.....to plan. Also, there's word that my Uncle may not live past this week. Why talk about him like he's dead already?! Some people are just so ready to let go it's scary. I'd hate to have my family start to talk about me in past tense when I'm planely there and breathing, not to mention able to hear! That's like a kid spraining his ankle and his parent's saying, "Alas, we knew poor little Timmy well. It's sad to have seem him suffer so much." Almost like they are about to put him down like a animal. Tired.

I think I shocked a lot of AFROTC cadets when I told them they weren't suppose to be drinking Red Bull. We had to sign a paper saying that we would not consume certain chemicals, substances, stimulants, etc. Guarana being one of them, which is the main stimulant in Energy drinks. They would probably have wanted to not know and continue their insomniatic ways in order to be over achievers. Eyes getting heavy.

Classes left:1 (Spanish)

I had a dream the night before that Spainards were trying to invade a house that I was living or visiting with lots of friends. Coincidence?

The Good, The Bad, and the Oogly

2005-03-04T19:23:00.000-08:00

This day was filled with smiles, worry lines, a surprise gray hair, and tears. The smiles are from my best friend/maid of honor being able to come and see me this weekend. She has traveled all the way from Massass (lol) Massachussetts(sp?) I haven't seen her in 6 years! Can you believe that? A girl I've known since the 8th grade. We were insta-friends. I love her dearly. Right now we are chillin'. We are all tired from being up early, her with her flight and I with my daring attempt to get a liscense. Yeah, long story short I didn't get it today. Looks like I have an appointment with a lovely large and in charge lady next week for a retry. I was sorely dissappointed. However sad it is, I am comforted in the fact that several people have failed the driver's test the first time. Who's with me?! Dane Cook was right, people really do camp out at the DMV to get in "early".

Today was also Kyle's 22nd birthday. I feel kind of bad that Jess is here and getting most of the attention when it's Kyle's special day. Not to mention I haven't been able to get him a gift yet. I was hoping with the getting of the liscense and the driving of my car I could go out and get him one without knowing. He still loves me :) I will find him something super special.

Jess gets to see my family. She will be so surprised by how much my brother has grown. I know Kevin is like 6'2" . Crazy people! Within the next 2 weeks I will find out if I will be on my way to OSI. I figured if I don't get it, Intell is the next best thing. Who knows. I do know that there are offers for Physics teachers out there. I can't wait to do that later on down the road. That has been my dream since I was little and teaching Jesse the alphabet. I really feel it is my calling :) Besides, I love Phyics!! I'm such a nerd, narf.

Yesterday, some POC and I went on a ropes course. I didn't really fall at all. I kind of squatted and leaned back but I didn't fall. Going over the bridge was the most challenging part. Next weekend I'll will be going down to Coco Beach Florida with ROTC for a base visit. It's going to rock!!! I can't believe this semester is already reaching the halfway point. Kyle and I have been looking at apartments and stuff. There is still lots of wedding stuff to plan. No pressure :-/

Where did the day go?

2005-03-01T19:21:00.000-08:00

It feels like I just woke up and I still want to take a friggin' nap. One would hate naps when little, but now it would be a Godsend.

Kyle and I journed afar (to Anderson) in search of the DMV. Couldn't find the darn place. We searched just about every street in the downtown area. Unless it was disguised as a house or hiding in the shadows, we just couldn't find it. No signs or anything to help out. However, I did learn that there is an airport in Anderson. Didn't know that :-/

It looks like I will never get my liscense. Kyle talked to a lady for the DMV helpline and she said I'd have to get my permit first and take Driver's ED. GRRR! I've already gone through all of that crapola crayola. I'm FRIGGIN' 21!!! I want my liscense!! *throws mental temper tantrum*

It's obvious that the liscense is a sensitive subject with me. Oh well, one of these days. I mean I already have a car. I just get to think about it and how nice it must be to drive. I want it like a fat kid does McDonald's. Do you how ridiculous it would be to be married and on your own, but no liscense?!

As Far as Mondays Go

2005-02-28T15:33:00.000-08:00

Today wasn't too bad. The weather a bit nippily but nothing serious. I managed to get through every class. I think I'm starting to suffer from Senioritis.
My symptoms being:
a) feigning interest in the material
b) trying to use all available resources in order to use as little brain power as possible
c) prefering to watch kiddy cartoons at 9am instead of getting homework done
d)feeling held back by what few classes I have left
e) having the urge to be less involved

I'm like c'mon, let the real world in. I'm ready, willing. I'd rather work a 9-5 than have to work one more physics problem. Which by the way, takes about the same time to realize I still can't figure it out.

Also, I still feel like I'm playing catch up from my "mild case of the flu" two weeks ago. I better not get sick again. Even though I keep running into people who need to be quarantined. I was on the the elevator on the way to my Dynamics class when the woman next to me is doubled over coughing. At first I was like, whoa she needs to cut down on the smoking. I soon find out that she just has a broken rib from all the coughing....because she has pneumonia! Then on the way back to my room there is a guy that I was making small talk with. "Do you think it's going to be colder this month?" Etc. Yeah, he has the FLU! Stay away!! Now that I think about it, I shook his hand :-p I can't afford to be sick. I still have to take the PFT and just stay healthy, because homework when you're sick is 10x's worse.

I think a lot of people write blogs to entertain. For one, they sound more witty and conversational in writing than in person. Oh well, it feels good to know that people read what you write. At least with this being online, I don't have to hear people over my shoulder saying,"You need to put a comma here and you didn't spell supercalafragilisticexpealidocious right." Bah! This is the raw unedited version riych here!

My problem though....is probably writing too much.

How much writing is appropriate for a blog?

Quickie

2005-02-27T01:05:00.000-08:00

Made fresh before bed. No time for chitter chatter.